Tag Archives: relationships

How we Give in Relationships

Growing up, I’m sure I didn’t understand all that my parents sacrificed to give me the blessed life I had. I couldn’t be aware of the hours of sleep they gave up to care for me as a newborn, the way my mother’s body ceased being her own and became a vessel for my nourishment, […]

Relationships & Attachment

For those growing up with generational trauma, attachment can be a tricky thing. Insecure attachment develops when we don’t get our needs met early on in life. We develop attachment patterns that reflect anxiety or avoidance. In adults, anxious attachment shows up when we feel we aren’t getting our relationship needs met. We become easily […]

Do I Matter to You?

A commonly unspoken feeling in family life is, “Do I matter to you?” It might sound strange that people sharing a home and a last name could question that of each other, but in the work I do, I see this question all the time implied, without being explicitly asked. I’ll give you an example. […]

Secure Attachment Can Be Learned

When we are born into our families, we are essentially given a template for attachment. We learn that our needs will be met consistently and lovingly, thus creating secure attachment. Or, we learn that attachment is inconsistent and unreliable, creating insecure attachment patterns. We bring this template with us throughout our lives, particularly in our […]

The Universe is a Friendly Place

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, “This is not where I thought I would be by this age?” This is something I struggle with and I often hear my clients in their 20s make that statement. There seems to be a timetable out there for all of us and if we don’t […]

What Recovery Feels Like

Almost a month has passed since the Yoga for Trauma Recovery Immersion experience at Breathe Los Gatos. This was one of the most incredible experiences of my career–facilitating eighteen people through their respective healing and learning processes. Each person in the group displayed a willingness to look deeply inside and then to bring their healing […]

Pearls From the Fox Hole: Single Parenting a Hard Core, High Needs Kid

This is a special post, written anonymously from an alumni parent. Though it is written for single parents, I encourage all parents to read these helpful words. Here are some pearls that really work –– pearls gleaned from kids in the muck, from therapists, and treatment centers. Pearls culled from hard core experts. These are […]

5 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Over the eight years I’ve worked with young women, one of the most prominent themes of discussion is relationships. Many of the girls I’ve worked with have experienced rejection and abandonment to the degree that it becomes hard to know who to trust. Some young women I’ve worked with have shared that they are so […]

The Role of Sister

In 2010, The New York Times published an article on sisterly love.  According to various studies, having a sister makes people happier. People with sisters report feeling more optimistic about life.  The article identified sisterly conversations as being the main contributor to contentment–sisterly conversations occur frequently and they range from the personal to the mundane. […]