What draws me to buddhist philosophy is the belief that the nature of our souls is gentle. When I held my nephew for the first time, what I knew about him beyond a doubt was that his nature was love. I continue to be reassured of this because each time I 
see him, I am filled with more love. That’s his being.
Seeing his nature opens me up to the possibility that maybe my being is naturally good too. Maybe my core is compassionate and gentle, just like his. My, how comforting that thought is!
It comforts me because it helps me get back in tune with who I really am. Part of our human experience requires that we live through situations that feel harsh or unfair. It’s not easy to respond in soft ways under hard circumstances. When we act out of survival, it looks like fight, flight, or freeze. While we honor the intelligence of the brain in survival, it’s important to develop an awareness around who we are when we are regularly in survival vs. who we are in loving awareness.
Who are we in fight mode?
- Reactive
- Argumentative
- Angry
- Defensive
- Protective
- Moody
- Blown about by every wind
How do we come back to loving awareness?
- Look at our anger as a messenger…what is it asking us to pay attention to?
- Pause–take a few conscious breaths before responding to a situation
- Get invested in self-care–do the things that make us feel peaceful and happy on a daily basis
- Ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
- Ask your head to check in with your heart
Who are we in flight?
- Avoidant
- Isolated
- Depressed
- Lonely
- Afraid
- Hopeless
How do we come back to loving awareness?
- Look at what our fear is asking us to pay attention to
- Script out what we want to say to others and practice before we address our concerns
- Take risks being vulnerable with people we trust
- Engage in activities that are nourishing
- Get connected to your personal boundaries
Who are we when we freeze?
- Shut down
- Emotionally withdrawn
- Disconnected
- Dissociated
- Disembodied
- Panicked
- An island
How do we come back to loving awareness?
- Look at what our disconnection is asking us to pay attention to
- Journal your feelings
- Breathe consciously
- Identify the ways you are interconnected with others
- Get connected with nature
- Share your feelings with someone you trust-it’s okay to start small
- Meditate regularly
- Validate your own feelings
Life tests us in ways that asks each one of us to look at, “Who am I really?” If we can ultimately answer with, “Love,” then we know we haven’t strayed too far from who we are, really.
What we forget is that we were all precious little newborns who emanated love all day and night. You are a gift, just as he is. I’m couldn’t be happier that you are adjusting your sails and coming back home to your real you. Xo
Life is the ultimate guru, Myna! And we collect friends (like you) along the way to support our learning.