Category Archives: Families

Relationships & Attachment

For those growing up with generational trauma, attachment can be a tricky thing. Insecure attachment develops when we don’t get our needs met early on in life. We develop attachment patterns that reflect anxiety or avoidance. In adults, anxious attachment shows up when we feel we aren’t getting our relationship needs met. We become easily […]

Living with Devotion

My sister and her husband brought a new life into our family ten months ago. It has been nothing but wonderful to watch my nephew blossom before my eyes. Every time I’m with him, I witness the new things he is learning and how happy he is to be a part of it all. It’s […]

Looking Inward

If today you woke up and recognized your full worth, what would you do differently?  If you accepted that you have needs in your relationships, what would you ask for? If you could repair any hurt, what would it be? If you owned your strength, what would it tell you to let go of? If […]

What Wisdom Is

When my head puts a judgment on someone, something, or myself… I ask my heart what it has to say about that. The heart softens me up enough to hear the truth: to be more kind.   When my emotions feel like they are going to swallow me up… I ask my head what it […]

Living in the Moment

Why is being in the moment so hard?  Because it’s uncomfortable Because it’s unpleasant Because we could mess it all up Because it’s not what we want Because it reopens old wounds Because we know it won’t last Because it can never be repeated Because it might never feel this way again Because it could […]

Letting Go

Let go.  When you feel someone “should” be acting in a certain way… Let go. When life isn’t working out the way you’ve planned… Let go. When you start to worry, obsess, or panic… Let go. When you want to control… Let go. When you are filled with grief about your past… Let go. When […]

Do I Matter to You?

A commonly unspoken feeling in family life is, “Do I matter to you?” It might sound strange that people sharing a home and a last name could question that of each other, but in the work I do, I see this question all the time implied, without being explicitly asked. I’ll give you an example. […]

Listening Deeply

Why is listening so hard? Because it means we will hear things we don’t agree with. Because we will fight the impulse to share the “correct point of view.” Because we want to fix it for the other rather than share in their emotion. Because we can’t let them get away with that. Because we […]

Falling in Love With Life

I find myself almost daily falling deeper in love with life. It’s a little odd for me to say that I’m in love with life because I know that I still feel pain. The holidays were once effortlessly happy, and I never understood why people moped around saying, “The holidays are tough.” Yet in the […]

Secure Attachment Can Be Learned

When we are born into our families, we are essentially given a template for attachment. We learn that our needs will be met consistently and lovingly, thus creating secure attachment. Or, we learn that attachment is inconsistent and unreliable, creating insecure attachment patterns. We bring this template with us throughout our lives, particularly in our […]